10 Ways To Improve Your Social Skills

Lukas Schwekendiek
3 min readDec 5, 2023
Photo by Dan V on Unsplash
  1. Start Hobbies Extroverts Enjoy — I was part of a 70-man theater group in High School. In this theater I was forced to be outgoing. My personal space and social comfort zones were put to the test as I was not allowed to have any of that on stage. Theater, team sports, dance classes, parties, festivals, etc. Follow those that are already extroverted and you will get a little of what they have.
  2. Leave Your Phone At Home — If you cannot do that, then at least leave it in your drawer, backpack or pocket. Do not take it out while you are with other people. Force yourself to be with that person, especially if it gets uncomfortable or awkward; that’s where your skills have the most potential to grow.
  3. Do Not Go Anywhere Alone Alone — Always try to find someone that goes with you, be it shopping, to classes or just for a walk. Invite people to get a coffee, to help you with your shopping and anything else you may do. Asking doesn’t hurt and every time they agree it is a learning step.
  4. Plan More Events — Cook dinner with your friends, let everyone bring something, organize a big, group, workout session, plan to go to the Zoo or the Amusement Park, or simply start a board-game night where everyone brings a game. Be the person that starts and plans those events to get more opportunities to grow your skills.
  5. Care Less About The Thoughts Of Others — This will allow you to speak freely. Even though it may lead to a lot of embarrassing moments it teaches you that those moments aren’t as bad as everyone makes them out to be. ‘Surprisingly’, none of them will destroy your life.
  6. Focus On The Other Person — Make the person in front of you the most important thing in the universe is a great way to learn how to ask great questions. It makes the other person feel valuable while you’re able to learn more about them and about certain topics, giving you more to draw from in a future conversation.
  7. Listen to Speakers & Comedians — Stand-up Comedy, Speakers, and Improvisational Comedy is the best source of seeing masters in communication at work that is not totally serious. You absorb quite a bit by just watching, if you also take notes that will increase even more. I’m a huge fan of “Whose Line is it Anyway”.
  8. Speak — Be it on stage or in…

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Lukas Schwekendiek

Life Coach, Speaker, Writer. Published on TIME, Inc & Huffington Post.