6 Toxic Relationship Habits Most People Think Are Normal

Lukas Schwekendiek
6 min readFeb 15, 2022
Photo by Marah Bashir on Unsplash

1. Always Putting Your Partner First — Your partner did not fall in love with someone that is dependent on them.

They fell in love with someone that was strong, that could give them joy and that took charge of their own life!

They were attracted to that security, that passion for life and that drive that you showed in your own hobbies and actions.

Most relationships transform from two individuals that take each other on amazing journeys into two individuals that depend on the other to be happy.

They go around pleasing the other, demanding that the other do the same, which quickly becomes a huge problem as it creates a tremendous amount of pressure and expectations that they can never fulfill.

This is when the relationship will start to break down as your partner will not be bale to handle taking care of two lives simultaneously.

Whatever you do, make sure you do not become codependent.

A relationship is a place where two individuals can thrive, share experiences and increase their own happiness.

Not one where two individuals can leave their responsibilities on someone else’s shoulders that picks up their slack.

2. Trying To Change Them — If your partner wants to grow and change because they choose to, by all means, help them out!

But if they do not ask for your help, if they do not want to change, then do not ‘help’ them to change.

That ‘help’ is nothing more than your inability to accept them for who they are, and your unrelenting push to “help them be better” only signals them that they are not good enough the way they are.

That is not what a good partner does.

If you cannot accept your partner the way they are and treat every change as a bonus rather than a requirement, you are not with the right person.

A good partner accepts the other person for what they are and does not depend on them to change.

But they are also not dependent on staying with them, which gives them the option to leave if they truly cannot accept the other person.

Lukas Schwekendiek

Life Coach, Speaker, Writer. Published on TIME, Inc & Huffington Post.