Can Life Be Easier? — You Get What You Focus On

Lukas Schwekendiek
4 min readNov 13, 2023
Photo by Elizeu Dias on Unsplash

Life can be heaven or hell, it can be a game or it can be incredibly hard work, it can be a ride or a horror show.

Both positive and negative situations, feelings and experiences exist in a near equal amount in our lives, we’re just not always consciously aware of both.

With so many inputs every day our mind has to filter out a vast majority.

Our mind does most of the work without us being aware of it, taking in, identifying, and dealing with most of the inputs that it receives.

It runs every internal process, deals with every outside stimulus, and even has the time to judge what is important enough to be made conscious and what is not, all in less than a second.

It chooses the most important, imminent and consequential things to bring to our conscious awareness and deals with the rest subconsciously.

The problem with this is that it leaves us incredibly unaware of the things happening around us, which does not mean they do not exist.

For example, you were not aware of the fact that the chair you’re sitting on is pressed against your leg, that the shirt you’re wearing is lying on your shoulders or that your tongue cannot find a good spot to fit inside your mouth.

But whether or not you were aware of them they still existed. Your mind just deemed these things as unimportant enough not to bring them to your conscious awareness.

Our minds deal with positive and negative influences in exactly the same way; shutting out most of it to bring only the few things that matter to our conscious awareness.

You probably experienced this before when you just started a new relationship. You were happy, excited and maybe heads over heels in love and everywhere you went you saw only unhappy singles and happy couples.

But, when the relationship turned boring, uneventful and more into a slog than anything else, when you looked around all you saw was happy singles and unhappy couples.

You never wondered about it, but isn’t it strange that those people only existed when you were in a similar state?



Lukas Schwekendiek

Life Coach, Speaker, Writer. Published on TIME, Inc & Huffington Post.