Here Is The Best Way To Overcome Nervousness Around People
Being nervous about being around other people involves a few beliefs/Points of view that interact:
#1 — Thinking They Care.
Consider how much you remember of the people you come into contact with.
Can you remember the clothes anyone was wearing yesterday?
How about whether their hair looked good or bad?
What did you talk about with those people?
You might be able to remember some of those things for the people you came interacted with yesterday, but how about 2 days ago? A week ago? Or even a month ago?
And now ask yourself this: If you can’t remember, then why do you think other people will?
The truth is that everybody is so much more focused on themselves than they are on the people around them that they will not remember anything either.
#2 — Relying on Their Approval.
Even life partners do not notice much about the other.
Stories of partners not noticing the others new haircut or clothes are incredibly abundant, so why stress over strangers or friends that care even less about you than a partner?
If no one cares about you then you can do whatever you want and be whoever you want to be! You are Free!
You’re nervous now because you rely on them to like you, when they probably do not care.
It’s your life to live, not theirs. #3 — Believing Their Approval Leads to something else.
And, while that may seem sad on one hand, on the other it also opens up the world to you!
Hold on to that thought and realize that you do not need their approval for anything.
If not a single person on the planet approved of you you would still be you and you would still be valuable! And your life would still be the same!
You can still do what you want and be who you are without them approving it.
Whether or not they approve of you, your choices or who you are, you will still be you.
When they like you your life doesn’t suddenly get better, just like when they hate you it doesn’t suddenly get worse.
Life is determined by the actions you make.
Would you still care what those few people thought? To overcome this nervousness you have to strengthen the beliefs:
These 3 Points interact to make you desperate for their approval, and therefore, nervous to appeal to them when around others.
In a way you believe that through their acknowledgement you will gain something you do not have at this moment.
Pro-Tip: Experience it first hand. Screw up on purpose around others and reflect on the result. It will show you that no one really cares, it doesn’t change a thing, and you can still be happy regardless of how badly you screwed up!
Don’t believe me? Consider how you would interact if you won the lottery, reached the peak of physical fitness and were a world-renown celebrity.
- No one is looking at you.
- Their approval doesn’t change anything.
- Your happiness comes from your actions and is unaffected by other people.
Believe those things and you won’t feel nervous around others again.
Originally published at http://quora.com.
