How To Be Braver In Life

You don’t have to confront your fears, do not have to stand up for what you believe in and do not need to try harder.

To be braver you have to try less.

Being brave is not about actively choosing to fight fear, but rather about letting go of the consequences of your choice.

Fear and worry, as well as the restrictions we put on ourselves, only come when we worry about what happens next.

We worry about losing friends, worry about being perceived badly by strangers, fear the consequences of standing up to our boss or fear losing what we have worked so hard to obtain.

The expectation of a certain outcome and the dread of unwanted outcomes is what makes us so afraid.

Once we let go of our expectations for a certain outcome and become okay with whatever happens, we let go of fear.

Think of it like this: If you were absolutely certain that you would be okay, if you knew, without a doubt, that nothing bad could ever phase you; what would you have to fear?

Would you not speak your mind? Would you not stand up for what you believe in? Would you not simply act on the things you wanted if you knew it would be okay?

It is that belief that makes us brave in the end.

Now, there are a couple ways to achieve that mindset:

1. Stop caring — If you simply stop caring about the outcome and just act, it will be perceived as brave. If you, for instance, don’t care about the lion in front of you, it may seem brave and you will definitely feel more empowered.
2. Understand you will be okay — As mentioned above, if you can foster the belief that you will be okay regardless of what happens you will find yourself more free to act brave. To do this, either recall situations that you did not think you would overcome or create such a good environment that it will safety fall all your mistakes.
3. Test it out — To be honest, most situations won’t turn out as bad as you think. We like to imagine things worse than they are. Test out some bad situations, overcome them, and prove to yourself that you have nothing to fear.
4. Go to the Extreme — Don’t do this in your real life, but do take your fears to the imaginative extreme. What could be the worst outcome you can imagine? Really go big here! Once you do, take it seriously and find a way out. How would you actually overcome that situation if it happened to you? And then look back and realize that the situation you are facing now is nowhere near as dire; so if you could overcome the extreme, why are you scared of this?
5. Understand you have no idea — In 99% of the cases, what you think will happen and what will actually happen are incredibly far off. Most of the things you imagine never come to be that way. Understanding that means that no matter what you do to prepare, things will go different anyway, like they always have, and so taking it one step at a time is the only way to go. There is no reason to worry or be scared or not be brave.

Originally published at Quora.com