How To Turn Lacking Communication into a Strength

Lukas Schwekendiek
3 min readMay 29
Photo by Medienstürmer on Unsplash

Many nervous people end up tongue-tied.

They are so nervous about what to say that they usually cannot get any words out at all.

Interestingly enough, this is only a problem with people that are not good at communicating, which can be seen by the fact that the opposite is true for the rest.

The most important communication skill, therefore, is to loosen your tongue.

Simply start saying whatever is on your mind, no matter the consequences.

People with high charisma do this all the time; they speak first and think later.

They do this because they are not worried about how the things they say will be perceived.

The reason this may be hard for you is because of the fears you associate with it.

The fear of being laughed at, the fear of making a mistake, or the fear of loosing out on the relationships you’ve built.

All of these have one overlying fear: The Fear of not being good enough.

You are afraid of being rejected, that you will say something that isn’t accepted and it will make you feel nervous, or that you say something you did not intend to say.

To avoid this you rack your brain to think about the right thing to say, even if that usually means you don’t say anything at all.

The truth is that we all mess up when we communicate.

We all misspeak, say something that is perceived in a way that is much worse than we intended, and even hurt the feelings of those around us even though we did not mean to.

There is no way around that as there is no perfect thing to say.

Assume that someone will always take what you say the wrong way.

The way to best deal with that is just to accept the fact that you are going to screw up every once in a while.

When you do, be honest and truthful right away, but only then. Do not try to apologize for something before it happened.

The better you get at this the less likely things are to faze you, and the more certain you become in yourself, which allows you to speak more freely going…

Lukas Schwekendiek

Life Coach, Speaker, Writer. Published on TIME, Inc & Huffington Post.