Stop Self-Sabotaging Yourself— The Guide To A Better Life

Lukas Schwekendiek
5 min readJun 24, 2021

You come home after a long day of work.

The weather outside is awful and work was stressful and the day just did not want to end.

When you finally do get home you grab a drink and a bag of chips and sit down on the couch.

You look back on your life and realize that you have not been happy in a long time.

Life was not supposed to be this way. How did this happen? What did you do to get here?

Looking back you cannot put your finger on it. Nothing all that bad happened, and you never made any drastic changes, yet, for some reason, you are a completely different person than you were years ago.

It doesn’t feel like you truly gave up on your life or any particular choice, but every now and again you have definitely sabotaged yourself.

Even just sitting there you stare at the already half-eaten bag of chips in regret as you wanted to get fit this year.

Well… so much for that.

The question is: Why do you keep self-sabotaging yourself like this?

If this is not the life you wanted to lead, then why can’t you do the things that would get you ahead?

The problem is that when we think about self-sabotage we think about certain big events that ruin our lives.

We look for singular moments that we can use as scapegoats, not understanding that it was a process that took us to this life we never wanted.

It was never just one thing, but instead a collection of a lot of tiny habits that you committed to day-by-day.

When we have moments of reflection like this we sometimes make a change.

We create a new set of habits, or set resolutions to make up for lost time.

However, we’re not at a stage where we can even keep our lives in order, much less do even more to make up for all the time we wasted.

As Alexander Heyne describes in the book “Master the Day” the two big problems in self-sabotaging ourselves are our Narrative and the Daily Rituals we engage in.



Lukas Schwekendiek

Life Coach, Speaker, Writer. Published on TIME, Inc & Huffington Post.