The Best Way to Turn Your Life Around

About 4 years ago I hated my life.

I had a lot of superficial friends, I was studying something that was barely mildly interesting, I had no passion for anything and I spent most of my time playing video games.

I scraped by in college, never considering the consequences, and when I did, it hit me really hard. I became depressed and eventually even suicidal.

At that point in my life I knew only one thing: I had to turn it around.

Everything I had been doing until that moment lead me to be suicidal… which wasn’t really a strong case for the way things had been going. But I had no idea how to do it.

How do you turn it all around? I never studied much, never did anything for longer than a couple months, I was shy, not confident at all and had no ambitions.

Today I am almost the exact opposite.

Now, telling you what I did over the last 4 years will take me a long time and it will be too much for you to read if we’re honest; so I will try to limit it to the main aspects that helped me change my life around completely:

  1. I got help — Of course you could do it alone, but why? Maybe it is time you swallowed your pride and spent a little time, energy and money so that you do not have to go through this alone. I got a coach first thing, and although I said I could work with him for only one month, it’s been almost 48 now.
    A person on the outside can see the mistakes, the worries, fears and pitfalls long before you can. Why do you think every high-performer, whether they are athletes or businessmen and women, has at least one person to talk to?
  2. I made a commitment to myself — For years I had been following other people’s advices and went the path they wanted me to go on, and it did not work out. So when I changed I made a commitment to myself to give it my best shot. For me, the other side was depression and suicide again, and I wouldn’t go back there again without a fight.
    Commit to yourself. You are not living for anyone else but you. These are your choices, this is your experience, this is your life to live. If you don’t make it count no one else will.
  3. I figured out what I wanted — I wrote down the things I wanted indiscriminately. This was my life, these were the things I wanted and I did not care if it was conceited or not. But when I wrote them down, when I actually made a plan, I realized what I wanted. Then, the only question was why I wanted them, and when I figured that out, everything changed.
    Know why you want what you want or else you will be chasing someone else’s phantoms. There are things you desire in this world; look for them. And once you find them never let them go.
  4. I started — After all of that happened I decided I had to start somewhere. It really didn’t matter where as long as I did something, so I did. I committed to writing 500 words for 365 days. At first, I started to write a book. But after about 10 pages worth of writing I lost all interest. Instead of clinging on to the book I then switched and started to write Blog Posts. And, for some reason, that stuck with me. I knew I enjoyed to write and I wanted to help people so this was a great mix, and although I was horrible at it, I kept going. I didn’t keep going for my readers or because I thought anything would develop from it; I kept going because I owed it to myself.
    Start somewhere, do it every day and do it
    for you. No one is watching you, no one is controlling you. This is your time right now, so do it because you want to. But start! Don’t think too much about what and just start somewhere. Anywhere is good enough at first and something will develop, but you have to start to get there.
  5. I improved — The last thing that I did was that I started to become active about myself and to improve the things I wanted to improve upon. I went outside and talked to strangers, and to the women that sparked my interest. I learned about confidence, charisma, and self-improvement. I meditated, I journaled, and I tracked my habits. Within just 3 months I was a different person. Confident, more outgoing, and certain that I could do what I set out to do. I even got a girlfriend who I still love very much.
    Of course you can sit in front of the TV all day but it will not change you. If you want to improve then you have to take responsibility and do it. There are thousands of ways to grow that are free for you to take, but you have to take them and apply them. Become active and responsible about your life because you are the one who has to pay in the end.

Photo by frank mckenna on Unsplash.

Originally published at

Life Coach, Speaker, Writer. Published on TIME, Inc & Huffington Post.