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The Forgotten Point Of Romantic Relationships
Imagine happiness in terms of golden doubloons. We all start out with 10 of these doubloons, symbolizing 10 units of happiness.
Now, in a relationship what happens at first is that both people freely give their doubloons to the other person.
The excitement of the new relationship, the desire to impress, and the investment into something longer causes them to wish to spend their money on this person.
You go out of your way a lot for the other person and do things you normally wouldn’t, essentially spending doubloons you would not normally spend that way.
At the beginning, since you both do this, neither of you will feel unhappy, and in fact, feel happier since receiving feels better than hoarding it, which causes you to feel you have extra to give to them in return.
The problem occurs later in the relationship.
Later, the excitement fades, the newness dissipates, and both parties will look to the stereotypical idea of a relationship and say that is should make them happier.
When this is assumed, they will eventually start giving less doubloons than they receive; after all, each of you wants to end up with a net gain.
